Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The chlamydia really affected his face.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
