i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
