I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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