The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
