Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
