Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
