Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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