I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
