its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
