Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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