The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
