Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
