we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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