If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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