I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
