office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
