There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
