Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
