Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
