I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize