he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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