I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
