god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize