I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
