How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
