dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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