They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
