17 year olds will be the death of me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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