so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
