Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
