just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
that is very illegal...i love you.
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