Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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