My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
