What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
