I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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