Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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