You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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