We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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