Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
