Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You're like the curious george of whores
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
