I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
