You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
cat food counts as protein by the way
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
