with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
