ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
