If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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