Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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