Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
