yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
