Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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