Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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