well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
