I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
