I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
