He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
