and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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