Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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