morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
