3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I am available for nakedness
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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