ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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