Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
