they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize