hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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