I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
