I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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