Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
