the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
