I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize