Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize