Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
