Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
