Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
