I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
lets start a swedish sibling band together
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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