she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
