everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
