My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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