Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
