That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
